The Funniest Quotes about Books

Here are our favourite wise, witty, and true one-liners about books from writers, critics, and other notable individuals. These are the funniest quotations we the Wantate review team have ever found.

Charles Dickens: ‘There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.’

Groucho Marx: ‘From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend on reading it.’

W. H. Auden: ‘One cannot review a bad book without showing off.’

G. C. Lichtenberg: ‘When a book and a head collide and a hollow sound is heard, must it always have come from the book?’

Terry Pratchett: ‘To a soul attuned to the subtle rhythms of a library, there are few worse sights than a hole where a book ought to be.’

Thomas Fuller: ‘Some men live like moths in libraries, not being better for the books, but the books the worse for them, which they only soil with their fingers.’

Nancy Mitford: ‘I have only ever read one book in my life, and that is White Fang. It’s so frightfully good I’ve never bothered to read another.’

Bertrand Russell: ‘There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.’

Nora Ephron: ‘I always read the last page of a book first so that if I die before I finish I’ll know how it turned out.’

Henry Ward Beecher: ‘Be certain that your house is adequately and properly furnished – with books rather than furniture.’

Mark Twain: ‘“Classic”. A book which people praise and don’t read.’

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Great comedy films to watch now

Even though it’s not Christmas, these two comedies will have you wishing it’s the most wonderful time of the year all over again. Snuggle up with these funny films curated by the Wantate review team.

The Princess Switch 3

In this movie, Vanessa Hudgens returns for her third round in this trading-places romp as a baker/Belgravia duchess. To add to the plot twist, another look-alike character also played by Hudgens is introduced after a priceless relic is stolen. There is plenty of fun for the entire family with this film.

A Castle for Christmas

For this rom-com which takes place in Scotland, Brooke Shields plays a famous American author who goes home-hunting abroad. She finds the castle of her dreams is owned by a duke (Cary Elwes) who refuses to sell it to an outsider. Then of course shenanigans are followed by romance and you know what happens next!

For more great comedy, head over to Wantate today.

Funny one-liners from comedies over the years

If you are looking for a bit of good humour, you will love these lines from famous comedies over the years, curated by the Wantate review team.

Animal House 1978

Food fight!

Toga! Toga!

Double-secret probation

The cult classic invented neither the food fight nor the toga party, but it did supply the calls to action — best conveyed in John Belushi’s caveman yell — for frat boys the world over.

Airplane! 1980

I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Leslie Nielsen didn’t just create a viral phrase with his deadpan response to “Surely you can’t be serious,” but the previously dramatic actor also laid the groundwork for his future as a great comedic star, mainly in the “Naked Gun” franchise.

A Christmas Story 1983

You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.

The holiday favorite gifted us with an excellent rebuttal for any child who wishes for a potentially hazardous present.

For more great comedy content, check out Wantate today.

Funny quotes to make you smile now

Put a smile on your face with this funny collection of quotes curated by the Wantate review team.

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller

“We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.” – Phyllis Diller

“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” – Prince Philip

“Life is a sexually transmitted disease.” – R. D. Laing

“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” – Redd Foxx

“The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going.” – Reinhard Bonnke

“If you lived with a roommate as unstable as this economic system, you would’ve moved out or demanded that your roommate get professional help.” – Richard D. Wolff

“When you’re in love it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life.” – Richard Lewis

“Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.” – Rita Mae Brown

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

“When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.” – Rita Rudner

“If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.” – Rob Cordry

“I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.” – Robert Benchley

“The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.” – Robert Bloch

“All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought.” – Robert Breault

“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” – Robert Frost

“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.” – Robert Fulghum

“Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams

“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.” – Rodney Dangerfield

For tons more content to put a smile on your face, check out Wantate today.

Two of the Funniest Books of All Time

Get ready to wake up whoever's sleeping next to you as these two books curated by the Wantate review team are guaranteed to make you LOL.

A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail (Official Guides to the Appalachian Trail)

This comic tale by Bill Bryson is the official travel guide of the Appalachian Trail which stretches 2,100 miles along the Eastern seaboard. In his hilarious account which he refers to as the “granddaddy of long hikes,” Bryson chronicles his experiences on American wilderness through his very funny literary voice.

I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman

Nora Ephron was known for being the writer behind great rom-com films such as Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry Met Sally. In her essay collection, she writes with both wit, humor and very relatable honesty about growing up as a woman of a certain age. This book will make you laugh, cry and will thoroughly be enjoyed.

For more great humour content, check out Wantate.

Comedy films to tune into tonight

Looking for a great flick to have you laughing at loud tonight? Then choose one of these films curated by the Wantate review team and don’t forget the popcorn!

Stars Fell on Alabama

Bryce Dixon is a successful Hollywood agent who needs to return home to Alabama for his 15-year high school reunion. He soon finds out he’s the only one of his friends who isn’t married with children and they begin to judge him for it. So what is he to do? He convinces his starlet client Madison to go home with him and pretend that she’s his girlfriend. What could possibly go wrong? Watch to find out.

Vacation Friends

Vacations are great for relaxing and trying new things, right? This is exactly what buttoned-up Marcus, played by Lil Rel Howery, and Emily, played by Insecure‘s Yvonne Orji, do during their romantic holiday to Mexico. They meet two wild and crazy party animals named Ron and Kyla, played by Jon Cena and Meredith Hagner, who help Marcus and Emily rid themselves of some of the daily life pressures they had no idea they needed. But a few months later and after returning to their normal lives, Ron and Kyla pop up out of the blue and back into Marcus and Emily’s lives. What comes next? You will just have to watch!

For more great comedy, head over to Wantate today.

Funny Quotes About Dysfunctional Families

So many families are dysfunctional, but hey, you can’t choose who your family is. Here are some very funny quotes about dysfunctional families curated by the Wantate review team.

1. All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. -W.C. Fields

2. Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts. -Unknown

3. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. -George Burns

4. Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops. -Cary Grant

5. For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life’s list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors. -Jeff Foxworthy

6. I think a dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it. -Mary Karr

7. I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom. -Bob Hope

8. Bleeding ulcers run in my family: We give them to each other. -Lois McMaster Bujold

9. The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. -George Carlin

10. When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them. -Emo Phillips

11. Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry. -Jerry Seinfeld

12. Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. -Chelsea Handler

13. Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it’s Colin. -Tim Vine

14. Few mistakes can be made by a mother-in-law who is willing to baby-sit. -Anonymous

15. To encourage my little kid to eat something, I’d sometimes say: “Just pretend it’s sand.” -Anonymous

16. Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children. -Sam Levenson

17. Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern… like bad wallpaper. -Friedrich Nietzsche

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