The Funniest Quotes about Books

Here are our favourite wise, witty, and true one-liners about books from writers, critics, and other notable individuals. These are the funniest quotations we the Wantate review team have ever found.

Charles Dickens: ‘There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.’

Groucho Marx: ‘From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend on reading it.’

W. H. Auden: ‘One cannot review a bad book without showing off.’

G. C. Lichtenberg: ‘When a book and a head collide and a hollow sound is heard, must it always have come from the book?’

Terry Pratchett: ‘To a soul attuned to the subtle rhythms of a library, there are few worse sights than a hole where a book ought to be.’

Thomas Fuller: ‘Some men live like moths in libraries, not being better for the books, but the books the worse for them, which they only soil with their fingers.’

Nancy Mitford: ‘I have only ever read one book in my life, and that is White Fang. It’s so frightfully good I’ve never bothered to read another.’

Bertrand Russell: ‘There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.’

Nora Ephron: ‘I always read the last page of a book first so that if I die before I finish I’ll know how it turned out.’

Henry Ward Beecher: ‘Be certain that your house is adequately and properly furnished – with books rather than furniture.’

Mark Twain: ‘“Classic”. A book which people praise and don’t read.’

For more funny content, check out Wantate today.

Great comedy films to watch now

Even though it’s not Christmas, these two comedies will have you wishing it’s the most wonderful time of the year all over again. Snuggle up with these funny films curated by the Wantate review team.

The Princess Switch 3

In this movie, Vanessa Hudgens returns for her third round in this trading-places romp as a baker/Belgravia duchess. To add to the plot twist, another look-alike character also played by Hudgens is introduced after a priceless relic is stolen. There is plenty of fun for the entire family with this film.

A Castle for Christmas

For this rom-com which takes place in Scotland, Brooke Shields plays a famous American author who goes home-hunting abroad. She finds the castle of her dreams is owned by a duke (Cary Elwes) who refuses to sell it to an outsider. Then of course shenanigans are followed by romance and you know what happens next!

For more great comedy, head over to Wantate today.

Funny one-liners from comedies over the years

If you are looking for a bit of good humour, you will love these lines from famous comedies over the years, curated by the Wantate review team.

Animal House 1978

Food fight!

Toga! Toga!

Double-secret probation

The cult classic invented neither the food fight nor the toga party, but it did supply the calls to action — best conveyed in John Belushi’s caveman yell — for frat boys the world over.

Airplane! 1980

I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Leslie Nielsen didn’t just create a viral phrase with his deadpan response to “Surely you can’t be serious,” but the previously dramatic actor also laid the groundwork for his future as a great comedic star, mainly in the “Naked Gun” franchise.

A Christmas Story 1983

You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.

The holiday favorite gifted us with an excellent rebuttal for any child who wishes for a potentially hazardous present.

For more great comedy content, check out Wantate today.

Funny quotes to make you smile now

Put a smile on your face with this funny collection of quotes curated by the Wantate review team.

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller

“We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.” – Phyllis Diller

“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” – Prince Philip

“Life is a sexually transmitted disease.” – R. D. Laing

“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” – Redd Foxx

“The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going.” – Reinhard Bonnke

“If you lived with a roommate as unstable as this economic system, you would’ve moved out or demanded that your roommate get professional help.” – Richard D. Wolff

“When you’re in love it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life.” – Richard Lewis

“Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.” – Rita Mae Brown

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

“When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.” – Rita Rudner

“If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.” – Rob Cordry

“I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.” – Robert Benchley

“The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.” – Robert Bloch

“All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought.” – Robert Breault

“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” – Robert Frost

“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.” – Robert Fulghum

“Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams

“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.” – Rodney Dangerfield

For tons more content to put a smile on your face, check out Wantate today.

Two of the Funniest Books of All Time

Get ready to wake up whoever's sleeping next to you as these two books curated by the Wantate review team are guaranteed to make you LOL.

A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail (Official Guides to the Appalachian Trail)

This comic tale by Bill Bryson is the official travel guide of the Appalachian Trail which stretches 2,100 miles along the Eastern seaboard. In his hilarious account which he refers to as the “granddaddy of long hikes,” Bryson chronicles his experiences on American wilderness through his very funny literary voice.

I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman

Nora Ephron was known for being the writer behind great rom-com films such as Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry Met Sally. In her essay collection, she writes with both wit, humor and very relatable honesty about growing up as a woman of a certain age. This book will make you laugh, cry and will thoroughly be enjoyed.

For more great humour content, check out Wantate.

Comedy films to tune into tonight

Looking for a great flick to have you laughing at loud tonight? Then choose one of these films curated by the Wantate review team and don’t forget the popcorn!

Stars Fell on Alabama

Bryce Dixon is a successful Hollywood agent who needs to return home to Alabama for his 15-year high school reunion. He soon finds out he’s the only one of his friends who isn’t married with children and they begin to judge him for it. So what is he to do? He convinces his starlet client Madison to go home with him and pretend that she’s his girlfriend. What could possibly go wrong? Watch to find out.

Vacation Friends

Vacations are great for relaxing and trying new things, right? This is exactly what buttoned-up Marcus, played by Lil Rel Howery, and Emily, played by Insecure‘s Yvonne Orji, do during their romantic holiday to Mexico. They meet two wild and crazy party animals named Ron and Kyla, played by Jon Cena and Meredith Hagner, who help Marcus and Emily rid themselves of some of the daily life pressures they had no idea they needed. But a few months later and after returning to their normal lives, Ron and Kyla pop up out of the blue and back into Marcus and Emily’s lives. What comes next? You will just have to watch!

For more great comedy, head over to Wantate today.

Funny Quotes About Dysfunctional Families

So many families are dysfunctional, but hey, you can’t choose who your family is. Here are some very funny quotes about dysfunctional families curated by the Wantate review team.

1. All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. -W.C. Fields

2. Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts. -Unknown

3. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. -George Burns

4. Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops. -Cary Grant

5. For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life’s list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors. -Jeff Foxworthy

6. I think a dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it. -Mary Karr

7. I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom. -Bob Hope

8. Bleeding ulcers run in my family: We give them to each other. -Lois McMaster Bujold

9. The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. -George Carlin

10. When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them. -Emo Phillips

11. Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry. -Jerry Seinfeld

12. Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. -Chelsea Handler

13. Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it’s Colin. -Tim Vine

14. Few mistakes can be made by a mother-in-law who is willing to baby-sit. -Anonymous

15. To encourage my little kid to eat something, I’d sometimes say: “Just pretend it’s sand.” -Anonymous

16. Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children. -Sam Levenson

17. Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern… like bad wallpaper. -Friedrich Nietzsche

For more great humour content, check out Wantate.

Beautiful (And Funny) Family Love Quotes

Looking for some funny and sweet words to celebrate your family, then enjoy these curated by the Wantate review team.

“I sustain myself with the love of family.” – Maya Angelou

“Tennis just a game, family is forever.” – Serena Williams

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns

“Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.” – David Ogden Stiers

“The family – that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.” – Dodie Smith

“The most important thing in the world is family and love.” – John Wooden

“In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.” – Eva Burrows

“Family life is too intimate to be preserved by the spirit of justice. It can be sustained by a spirit of love which goes beyond justice.” – Reinhold Niebuhr

“Family is where life begins & love never ends.” – Unknown

“Where there is family, there is love.” – Unknown

“Family is the heart of a home.” – Unknown

“Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.” – H. Jackson Brown Jr

“Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts.” – Unknown

“In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.” – Friedrich Nietzche

“Spread love. Hug the people you care about and make sure they know that you care and appreciate them. Make it known to your friends and family that you love them.” – Germany Kent

“Love your family. Spend time, be kind & serve one another. Make no room for regrets. Tomorrow is not promised & today is short.” – Unknown

“My family is my life, and everything else comes second as far as what’s important to me.” – Michael Imperioli

“The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us all to become our best while looking our worst.” – Marge Kennedy

For plenty more great family content, check out Wantate.

Funny And Wise Quotes From The Funniest People Ever

Relax, laugh and have a good time with these quotes from some of the funniest people in showbiz, all curated by the Wantate review team.

Nothing prepared me for being this awesome. It’s kind of a shock. It’s kind of a shock to wake up every morning and be bathed in this purple light. Bill Murray

People are like music. Some speak the truth, and others are just noise. Bill Murray

There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments. Chris Rock

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. Chris Rock

If a woman tells you she’s twenty and looks sixteen, she’s twelve. If she tells you she’s twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she’s damn near forty. Chris Rock

If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you’re ahead of the game. Chris Rock

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do. Chris Rock

What the fuck do women want? I know what you want: everything. Chris Rock

They say love is more important than money…Have you tried paying your bills with a hug? Dave Chappelle

You know you must be doing something right if old people like you. Dave Chappelle

Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through. Dave Chappelle

A two-year old is kind of like a blender, but you don’t have any top for it. Jerry Seinfeld

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld

What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll wind up naked. Jerry Seinfeld

You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out’. Jerry Seinfeld

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. Jerry Seinfeld

For more great humour and plenty of eBooks and podcasts, check out Wantate today.

Funny family quotes to give you a giggle

If you are looking for a good giggle you can share with your family, then check out this collection curated by the Wantate review team.

Harry S. Truman: “I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.”

Rick Riordan: “Families are messy. Immortal families are eternally messy. Sometimes the best we can do is to remind each other that we're related for better or for worse and try to keep the maiming and killing to a minimum.”

Johnny Depp: “If someone were to harm my family or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

Francis Bacon: “Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.”

George Burns: “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring family in another city.”

Rodney Dangerfield: “I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”

Marge Kennedy: “Soup is a lot like a family. Each ingredient enhances the others; each batch has its own characteristics, and it needs time to simmer to reach full flavor.”

Penelope Lombard: “My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.”

George Carlin: “The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”

Phyllis Diller: “Always be nice to your children, because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

Jerry Seinfeld: “Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for.”

Erma Bombeck: “In general, my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.”

Sam Levenson: “The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”

W.C. Fields: “All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.”

Cary Grant: “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”

Jerry Seinfeld: “Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”

Emo Philips: “When I was 10, my family moved to Downer's Grove, Illinois. When I was 12, I found them.”

Funny Family Guy Quotes

Peter Griffin: “Remember how you wanted that new wedding engagement ring? Well, I got a horse.”

Stewie Griffin: “I say, Mother, this hotdog has been on my plate for a full minute and it hasn't cut itself.”

Chris Griffin: “My dad is smarter than your dad.” Meg Griffin: “We have the same dad, idiot.” Chris: Yeah, but mine's smarter.”

Lois Griffin: “What's going on down here?” Stewie: “We're playing house.” Lois: “But that boy's all tied up!” Stewie: “Roman Polanski's house.”

For more great humour and plenty of eBooks and podcasts, check out Wantate today.

Funny books for any day of the week

If you are looking for some fun books to brighten up your day, take a look at these curated by the Wantate review team.

Diary of a Drag Queen by Crystal Rasmussen (2019)

Before Crystal was Crystal, Tom was born in a tough town full of tough men and even tougher women. Quite how, many years later, they found themselves indulging in the pleasures of the night with a 79-year-old builder before knocking over his sister's ashes while trying to feed him a Viagra is genuinely a story to behold.

Then there’s the time they... actually, it’s better you read her other stories for yourself. Bohemian, yes, but Rasmussen's stories are anything but a drag – they're funny, heartfelt, and so lurid they should come with a free defibrillator. But more than that, they are shatteringly honest. Because their life hasn’t all been big-heels and butterfly eyelashes. There have been dark times, too.

Poetic, distinctive, and neck-achingly funny, this is the story of how Rasmussen set their "glam and gorj" inner diva free.

Reasons to Be Cheerful by Nina Stibbe (2019)

Nina Stibbe has mastered the balance of pathos and humour, so it’s hard to recommend just one of her books. But Reasons to Be Cheerful perhaps best exemplifies her acute ability to revel in the inherent absurdity of everyday life.

Stibbe’s most recent novel follows teenager Lizzie Vogel, whose new job as a dental assistant seems to promise independence until it doesn’t. Instead, Reasons to Be Cheerful revels in the youthful, mundane heartbreak of realizing that autonomy doesn’t equate to freedom. She’s still tied to her alcoholic mother, her sexless boyfriend, and the seemingly endless parade of small tragedies (foot fungus, a disrespectful boss) that life can sometimes be.

Insightful and comic in equal measure, Reasons to Be Cheerful might just turn your bad day into a hysterical one.

For more great funny humour reads, check out Wantate.

Funny Books to Read Aloud with Your Kids

Get your children reading with a super funny book curated by the review team at Wantate.

The Bear Ate Your Sandwich

by Julia Sarcone-Roach

The cover alone is enough to get young readers laughing about this one. Listen, your sandwich is gone — a bear ate it! It was a bear. No doubt about it, 100% a bear. The hilarious story of the bear’s journey to said sandwich is so absorbing; your kids won’t start wondering about a duplicitous narrator until the unexpected, uproarious end.

The Wicked Big Toddlah

by Kevin Hawkes

When one “wicked big toddlah” is born in Maine, life will never be the same for the sleepy seaside town. Think Clifford the Big Red Dog, but with babies. Toddie is a normal baby boy — besides the simple matters that he bathes in the ocean and has teeth the size of Priuses. This book is made for big laughs. Fair warning: avoid beverages (especially milk) while reading.

I Don’t Want to Be a Frog

by Dev Petty, illustrated by Mike Boldt

We all have a minor identity crisis at some point, right? For this young frog, that crisis is happening now, and it is SERIOUS. Why can’t he be a cat? A unicorn? The next Frank Sinatra? (Okay, maybe I’m getting a little carried away.) In an earnest and enlightening conversation with his father, Frog learns a thing or two about self-acceptance while kids enjoy one good comic time.

You will love all the fun content at Wantate. Head over there today!

Elevate Your Mood with These Funny eBooks

Funny audiobooks provide you with an easier way of reading books. It is both fun and healthy for your body to share a good laugh from time to time. Let's take a look at some of the funniest eBooks you should listen to.

F.C. Yee’s The Epic Crush Of Genie

Completing both high school and college studies is a hassle. Lo gets invaded by demons straight out of Chinese folklore while he is deep in slumber. Luckily, the only way to battle the demonic invasion is to approve the transfer of a new student. Genie’s life is the most complicated and unfair since she has to keep her grades up to make “The Epic Crush Of Genie” one of the funniest eBooks.

Noteworthy - Riley Redgate

Noteworthy can be compared to Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night mashed up with Glee’s TV show. Jordan Sun, an Alto 2 member, fails to get chosen in her school’s musical team. She makes a hard decision of joining the audition for the school’s elite octet, which is supposed to be attended by males only. She has no option but to dress in drag, making this eBook more hilarious.

Dad is Fat – Jim Gaffigan

Authored by a devout Irish Catholic and a famous comedian, Dad Fat is one of the best-selling funny audiobooks. Gaffigan’s hilarious cry for help when he realizes that he and his wife are outmatched in raising their numerous offspring.

If you are looking for funny eBooks that will help you forget about stress, check out Wantate.com.

Comedy eBooks That Are Good For Your Soul

Comedy eBooks can change how you think and make decisions. Laughter provides escapism from reality and gives you a chance to process your emotions during stressful situations. Here are some of the most popular comedy eBooks that will help you deal with difficult situations.

Born Standing Up - Steve Martin

In this eBook, Martin talks about his early life and his days while working for Disneyland. The eBook also chronicles his life when working as a comedy act at clubs and low tier coffee shops. You'll also learn about his relationships and the reason he decided to quit stand-up comedy.

Bossypants - Tina Fey

The Bossypants' story plot is more of Tina Fey's comic biography. She tries to give you an idea of what it is like to be Tina Fey. She has the necessary managerial and comedy skills that make it seem so easy to create comic ideas. The book is rated to be among the best-selling books written by Tina Fey.

Save Yourself - Cameron Esposito

Actress and stand-up comedian Cameroon Esposito shares her life story in this eBook. She attended the Catholic Church ever since she was a child. Later on, she discovered that she loves comedy. She uses her sexual identity to come out and begin her career as a writer. Save Yourself is full of laughs and life lessons about gender, sexuality, and accepting yourself for who you are.

If you are interested in reading comedy eBooks, visit Wantate.com.

Believe it or Not: The Obamas Are Producing a Show About Trump

Back in 2018, the world learned of Barack and Michelle Obama’s multi-million dollar deal with Netflix. Few details were announced, but we’re willing to bet that among the offerings that would come of it, few would have predicted a sketch comedy show. Even fewer would have predicted a sketch comedy show about the chaos surrounding the Trump Presidency. But that’s exactly what we’re getting.

The G Word, as it will be titled, “will ask whether government is a dirty word or a trusted institution” according to Deadline. They wrote, in a tweet:

“@adamconover has teamed with Barack and Michelle Obama’s Higher Ground Productions to pull back the curtain on government in a new sketch comedy series for Netflix.”

Conover, who fans will recognize from Adam Ruins Everything, retweeted, adding: “Very happy to finally be able to share this news: I'm creating a new comedy series for Netflix about the federal government. It's called The G Word, and I can't wait to share it with you.”

Unfortunately, we may be waiting a while yet before we get our first glimpse of the show. Trump, after all, is still President, and production on the show will only begin in 2021, which we can only assume will take place after the transfer of power. No matter when it’s released, though, we’re willing to bet a lot of people are already looking forward to watching.

Looking for something to make you smile? Visit our online library at Wantate for a wide variety of ebooks, audiobooks, music, and more. Accessible anytime, anywhere, from your favorite devices.

Jeff Dunham Does The Impossible

“I like to say I tricked Comedy Central into buying an ‘unscripted’ special,” said Dunham, of his 10th and most recent comedy special: Jeff Dunham’s Completely Unrehearsed Last-Minute Pandemic Holiday Special.

“I came up with the idea literally two months ago and we shot it three weeks ago,” said Dunham in a recent interview with The New York Post. “It was a crazy turnaround creatively and technically. I heard of so many other comics doing specials [during COVID] in drive-ins, etc. and I said, ‘We can do this.’”

Despite Dunham’s modesty, pulling off the comedy special on such a short timeline was no small feat. Though it took only months to produce, they were long months of hard work, culminating in a live taping over two shows, both in front of an intimate audience of only 100 spectators. “This is my 10th special, and it’s always an 18-to-24-month ordeal to build them, one joke at a time … getting the breathing the same and perfecting it so it’s a lay-up,” he said, contrasting the current special to those of the past.

The recent special is part of a three-year deal Dunham recently inked with Comedy Central, which is great news for fans, especially those stuck at home with nothing to do as the pandemic rages on. You can catch the special now, and then binge the previous nine as we eagerly await for more.

Looking for something to make you smile? Visit our online library at Wantate for a wide variety of ebooks, audiobooks, music, and more. Accessible anytime, anywhere, from your favorite devices.

Fun Facts About The Anchorman Films

The Anchorman films remain, to this day, some of the funniest movies ever made, and continue to be fan favorites. If you count yourself among the films’ many fans, then you’re in luck, the team here at Wantate dug into our collection of comedy ebooks and audiobooks to bring you a couple of fun facts about the Anchorman films.

Will Ferrell skated like a star. Stunt doubles are quite common for big budget Hollywood movies, but Will Ferrell didn’t need a stunt double for Anchorman 2, not for the skating scene, at least! Ferrell, you see, had learned how to ice skate in preparation for his starring role in Blades of Glory, so all that skating you saw on screen he did himself!

It took a lot of negotiating and pay cuts to make the sequel happen. The astounding success of Anchorman took many by surprise, but given its success, one would think Paramount would be eager to put out a sequel as soon as possible. This wasn’t the case, however, as the studio worried the sequel wouldn’t be worth the price tag Adam McKay and Will Ferrell put on it. A deal was eventually struck, but it took years of negotiating, and a few pay cuts. In fact, Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, and Paul Rudd all agreed to take pay cuts before Paramount finally gave the second installment a green light..

Looking for an unlimited collection of comedy classics? Visit our online library at Wantate for a wide variety of ebooks, audiobooks, music, and more. Accessible anytime, anywhere, from your favorite devices.