Relax, laugh and have a good time with these quotes from some of the funniest people in showbiz, all curated by the Wantate review team.
Nothing prepared me for being this awesome. It’s kind of a shock. It’s kind of a shock to wake up every morning and be bathed in this purple light. Bill Murray
People are like music. Some speak the truth, and others are just noise. Bill Murray
There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments. Chris Rock
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. Chris Rock
If a woman tells you she’s twenty and looks sixteen, she’s twelve. If she tells you she’s twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she’s damn near forty. Chris Rock
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you’re ahead of the game. Chris Rock
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do. Chris Rock
What the fuck do women want? I know what you want: everything. Chris Rock
They say love is more important than money…Have you tried paying your bills with a hug? Dave Chappelle
You know you must be doing something right if old people like you. Dave Chappelle
Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through. Dave Chappelle
A two-year old is kind of like a blender, but you don’t have any top for it. Jerry Seinfeld
It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld
What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll wind up naked. Jerry Seinfeld
You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out’. Jerry Seinfeld
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. Jerry Seinfeld
For more great humour and plenty of eBooks and podcasts, check out Wantate today.
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